Truth or Dare
by Alfonso Ling
Summary: Haruhi Suzumiya refuses to pursue the painful TRUTH surrounding her recent poor treatment of SOS Brigade subordinates - and chooses to take Kyon's DARE instead. Meanwhile Mikuru and Koizumi discover some TRUTHs of their own.
1. Two Dares

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**Truth or Dare**

by Alfonso Ling

**Chapter One: Two Dares**

* * *

Mere seconds after Kyon stepped through the SOS Brigade club room door - twenty minutes late - his normally blank face turned down into a frown.

Haruhi Suzumiya looked up from her computer, crossed her arms, and sighed.

"So it's just the two of us today?" Kyon asked.

"Yes it is. The others all had good excuses to be elsewhere so I let them attend to their business." Haruhi put her hands on her hips. "Do you have an excuse for me, too?"

Kyon set his backpack down on the table. "Nope. I guess I just wasn't feeling as creative as the others."

"What are you saying, Kyon? Are you implying that Mikuru, Yuki and Koizumi just made up an excuse so they didn't have to be here?"

Kyon shrugged. "I didn't say that."

Haruhi groaned. "But you sure implied it!" She glanced up at the ceiling with an angry expression. "If what you're saying is true, those guys are in for some major penalties!"

Kyon couldn't take it anymore. "Can we be honest here, Little Miss Brigade Leader?"

Haruhi crossed her arms. "Honest about what, Official First Member?"

"Honest about your relationships with your Brigade subordinates?"

"You mean like _totally_ honest? Like 'Truth or Dare' honest?"

Kyon nodded his head. "Yeah. Just that honest."

"Are you going to tell me stuff I don't really want to hear?" Haruhi asked, her ears twitching.

"Don't think you can handle the truth?"

Haruhi stood up, walked around to the front of her desk, and leaned back against it. "I think I'd much rather do the Dare."

Kyon laughed. "Are you kidding me?"

Haruhi gave Kyon a serious look and nodded. "You may not believe this, Kyon, but I really do love everyone in this club. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it if you told me what you seem to be implying."

"Huh?"

"I'm serious. I know I can be a difficult person, but I'd hate myself if I ever hurt anyone's feelings, especially those of the people in this club."

"Then why do you constantly abuse us?"

"What are you talking about? I don't abuse anybody."

"Miss Asahina?"

"Mikuru? No way. We have fun together. She doesn't really mind it. She pretends like she does, maybe to get you to feel sorry for her so you'll like her more, but she's actually fine with my little games."

"Haruhi. You rip her clothes off and dress her up like she's your play thing! You think she likes that? You think that's not abuse?"

Haruhi shook her head. "Nope. That's just fun. Mikuru loves it."

"Bullshit!" Kyon shouted. "Nobody likes being someone else s plaything. Not really."

"Mikuru does."

Kyon thought about Haruhi's answer for a few moments. Then he stood up and approached her. Unintimidated, Haruhi pushed herself off of the desk and moved toward Kyon. Soon they were standing, facing each other, eye to eye.

"Are we going to see who blinks first?" Haruhi asked with a blank face. "Because you'll lose."

Kyon shook his head. "Nope. You're hiding something. And it's making you really cranky. We both know it. So we're going to play 'Truth or Dare' to find out what it is. And _you_ will lose!"

Haruhi chuckled. "That's fine. I'll play. Dare me to do something, cause I'm not talking. But you better be prepared, because after I do your dare, I get my turn."

Kyon nodded. "Okay, you have a deal."

"Dare me to do something then," Haruhi said. "Because I'm not telling you squat."

Kyon pinched his chin between his thumb and forefinger, imitating The Thinker. Then his face lit up with a wide smile. "I dare you to go down on me," he patted his zipper, "without any clothes on."

Haruhi shook her head. "Nope. I'm not going to do it."

"So the game is over and you lose."

Haruhi put her hands on her hips. "No, Kyon. You're cheating."

"Just because I'm asking you to do something that's very embarrassing doesn't mean I'm cheating. That's how the game is played." Kyon crossed his arms. "So admit defeat."

"I won't admit defeat because you asked for two things. That's not fair. You have to pick one. Do you want me to get naked or do you want me to blow you? You can't have both."

Kyon nodded. "Okay, you have a point. Well… you're constantly ripping off Mikuru's clothes at school. How would you feel if someone did that to you?"

Haruhi smirked. "You're going to rip my clothes off, Kyon?"

"No. Of course not. That's not what I meant." A blushing Kyon took a deep breath. "It's embarrassing when someone forces you to undress in a strange place."

"Mikuru isn't embarrassed. She loves changing into her outfits. I think she likes the undressing part more than actually wearing the costumes. She's always looking at the door, hoping you'll walk in on her again."

Kyon bristled at the overt jealousy in Haruhi's voice.

"Okay, then," he said. "I dare you to get naked in this club room. See what if feels like."

"How long?"

"Till the game ends. Or is it ending right now?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Fine."

Kyon's eyes widened as Haruhi removed her shoes and her socks. He stood and watched with silent amazement as the girl pushed her skirt down to her ankles and unbuttoned her blouse. Seconds later, Haruhi's bra and panties were neatly folded on the table on top of her other clothes.

"See," the naked Brigade leader said without a hint of embarrassment. "It's no big deal. Mikuru loves this."

"Um…." Kyon just stared at the beautiful naked girl with his mouth open.

Haruhi giggled. "You're drooling, Kyon." She walked over to the bookshelf, retrieved a tissue, and gently wiped Kyon's chin. "Now it's my turn."

A speechless Kyon just nodded obediently.

"Truth." She looked directly into Kyon's eyes. "Is there anyone in this school that you're in love with and what is her name?"

"That's two questions," Kyon said softly.

Haruhi walked over to where Kyon was standing and sat down on the table across from him. She crossed her legs and asked, "What is the name of the girl that you're totally in love with," Haruhi tilted her head to the side, "but won't admit it?" Kyon looked down at the floor. "The real 'Truth or Dare' truth, Kyon. What's her name?"

"I think you know."

"Yes, I do. But I want you to say it. Out loud. I want to hear her full name."

Kyon briefly looked up, then frowned and looked back down at the ground. "You know it's going to change everything if I tell you."

Haruhi giggled. "I saw the way you frowned when you walked through the door. It's time you come clean." Haruhi cocked her fist. "And it better be the truth or you're going home with no teeth."

"Her name is…" Kyon sighed. "I don't know if I can do this. Can I do a Dare instead?"

Haruhi slid off of the table, walked toward Kyon, and started unbuttoning his shirt. "I guess that's okay. Either way, it'll take us to the same place."

Kyon smiled and moved to unbuckle his pants. "I suppose that's true."

* * *

A naked Haruhi and Kyon lay next to each other on the table in each others arms. Haruhi gave Kyon a quick kiss on the cheek. "You know, when I pictured us finally doing this I didn't think we'd be going at it this hard."

"We've only done it three times so far." Kyon tapped the head of his penis. "And hard is still an appropriate word."

Haruhi counted her fingers. "Missionary, doggy, spoons…"

Kyon laid back and stared up at the ceiling. "How about you get on top this time? Lazy butt."

Haruhi grabbed Kyon's penis and squeezed. "Watch it, buddy."

"Haruhi Suzumiya."

"Huh?" replied Haruhi as she moved into position, lowering herself down onto Kyon's shaft with a gasp.

Kyon moved his hands over Haruhi's breasts. "Just to make it official. That's the girl's name."

Haruhi smiled, "I knew that." She started moving herself up and down on Kyon. "But did you know I was in love with you, too?"

Kyon nodded.

Haruhi shook her head. "We're such idiots."

Kyon nodded again.


	2. Two Truths

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**Chapter Two: Two Truths**

* * *

Ituski Koizumi and Mikuru Asahina sat silently on the couch in Koizumi's efficiency apartment, staring at Mikuru's iPhone on the coffee table as if it were playing a video. But it wasn't. The phone was set to speakerphone mode, the volume up to its maximum setting.

"Are you sure they won't figure out that we're listening in on them?" Mikuru asked.

"I don't believe they will," replied Koizumi. "The phone is resting flat on the book case and plugged into the wall charging unit. If one of them did see it, they would simply assume that I forgot it and I left it charging."

Mikuru hugged herself. "I still don't feel right about this."

_"OH YES! KYON! YEEESSSSSSS!" _came Haruhi Suzumiya's voice through the phone's tiny speaker; followed by a _"Whumpa! Whumpa! Whumpa! Whumpa!" _sound.

Koizumi chuckled. "It sounds like that table is taking quite a beating. The intensity of their love-making has increased since Miss Suzumiya got on top."

"I don't think it's a good idea for us to eavesdrop on them like this!" Mikuru protested, raising her voice a bit to get Koizumi's attention.

Koizumi snapped out of his stupor. "Oh no, Miss Asahina. This is an _excellent_ way to eavesdrop! We initiated a call from my cell phone to yours before we left," he checked his watch, "a little more than two hours ago. People make phone calls of that duration all the time. For a small speaker, the sound quality is excellent! Furthermore, our phone plans both offer unlimited minutes, so there are no extra costs involved. We can listen in on them as long as we want for free! I couldn't imagine a better way for us to eavesdrop." Koizumi put his finger to his chin. "Except possibly using Skype from my laptop. Then we'd have video. But we told Miss Suzumiya we'd be absent today, so it would have looked suspicious had my laptop been left there." He chuckled as he continued listening to Kyon's and Haruhi's intercourse. "The way they're humping on that table, I don't think my laptop would have survived."

Mikuru put her hands on her hips and gave Koizumi the evil eye. "That's not what I meant! What we're doing… well, it doesn't seem _right!_"

"The relationship between Kyon and Miss Suzumiya is of utmost importance to both your and my organizations. We both agreed that it was crucial to stay informed, especially in light of Miss Suzumiya's recent moodiness."

Mikuru sighed. "I don't know. I still don't feel very good about this."

"Are you perhaps uncomfortable with the revelation that Miss Suzumiya was aware of your desire to have Kyon walk in on you while you were in a state of undress?"

Mikuru stood up and turned toward the smirking Koizumi. "I KNOW SHE THINKS THAT, BUT IT'S NOT TRUE!"

Koizumi stood and faced Mikuru. "Oh really?" He pointed down at the phone. "As our friends on the other end of this connection would say… Is that the 'Truth or Dare' truth?"

Mikuru blushed, but did not back down. "Are we playing 'Truth or Dare'?"

Koizumi nodded. "If you wish." He chuckled. "Though I don't suppose you'd take your clothes off _for me._"

Mikuru bristled at the overt jealousy in Koizumi's voice.

"I don't have any problem telling you the Truth." Mikuru took a deep breath. "The Truth is that I'm afraid of Kyon walking in on me again, considering our horseplay almost caused Miss Suzumiya to remake the world." Her face was very red now, but she continued. "To tell the Truth, the reason I kept glancing at the door was because I was secretly hoping that _you'd_ walk in on me."

Koizumi's eyes widened in shock. "Me?" he asked. "While you were naked?"

Mikuru nodded her head.

The stunned esper just stood there, blinking his eyes with his mouth open wide.

"Now it's my turn," said Mikuru. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

Mikuru giggled and crossed her arms over her ample chest. "I'm starting to understand that it's not safe to be around any electronic device that belongs to you." She looked up into Koizumi's eyes. "So tell me, Itsuki. What kind of things have you picked up with that Skype camera?"

Koizumi looked around nervously. "The 'Truth or Dare' truth?"

"Yep." Mikuru nodded. "The 'Truth or Dare' truth."

Koizumi took Mikuru's hand and led her behind the couch through the door of his adjacent bedroom. The curtains were drawn and it was pitch black inside. He led Mikuru to the center of the room, then walked back and turned on the light.

"Oh my!" Mikuru gasped with wide shocked eyes as she scanned the walls – which were plastered with pictures of Mikuru Asahina in various states of undress; most of them were full nudes.

"My Skype camera has been quite active lately."

Mikuru started shaking her head. Then she started laughing. She stepped up to Koizumi and took his hands in hers. "I guess for our next turns we could Dare each other to get naked." She reached up and started unbuttoning Koizumi's shirt.

"Truth... or Dare," Koizumi said with a grin as he started unbuttoning Mikuru's blouse as well. "Quoting the astute words of Miss Suzumiya: Either way, it will take us to the same place."

* * *

Haruhi looked down at the iPhone sitting on the shelf. "What in the world…?" Noticing that Koizumi's phone was in the middle of a nearly three hour long call to Mikuru Asahina, she lifted the device up and switched it to speakerphone mode, turning up the volume to its maximum setting. Haruhi turned to Kyon with wide surprised eyes when...

_"OH YES! ITSUKI! YEEESSSSSSS!" _came Mikuru Asahina's voice through the phone's tiny speaker; followed by a _"Whumpa! Whumpa! Whumpa! Whumpa!" _sound.

Kyon chuckled. "It sounds like Koizumi's mattress is taking quite a beating."


End file.
